🧠 You are hot, funny, and capable (self belief)

The fastest way to attract what’s meant for you is to let yourself wander toward what feels like home, even if you can’t name the address yet.

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1. You are hot, funny, and capable (self belief)

I want to talk about the power of self-belief. Not in the sense of I am powerful, I am confident, I am successful. But in verbs. In what you do. In effort. Because when you believe in your effort, you interpret the world differently.

A classic experiment by Claudia Mueller and Carol Dweck (1998) showed how a simple shift in belief rewires how we interpret feedback. Fifth-graders solved easy problems and were randomly praised for either intelligence (“You must be smart at this”) or effort (“You must have worked hard”). Then they were given harder problems designed to induce failure. The results were clear: children praised for intelligence interpreted failure as proof of low ability, showed less persistence, and performed worse later. Those praised for effort saw failure as feedback, persisted longer, and improved.

Praise for intelligence creates a fixed mindset - linking success to static traits. Praise for effort creates a growth mindset - linking success to action.

And that’s the real difference between belief in adjectives versus verbs. Adjective-based belief — I am smart, I am confident, I am talented - is brittle. It cracks when you don’t feel that way. Verb-based belief -I can learn, I can adapt, I can try again - is unbreakable. It’s not about identity; it’s about action.

That’s why real self-belief isn’t “I am something.” It’s “I can build anything.” Adjectives describe you. Verbs move you. And motion - not identity - is what keeps you growing.

So, yes, tell yourself you’re hot, smart, and hilarious… but root that belief in something deeper. Root it in effort.

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2. How to attract a compatible partner.

From day one… show up as your most passionate, real, oddball self instead of watering yourself down to seem chill.

For two reasons acked by research.

FIRST…. statistically you are more likable than you think you are… it’s called the liking gap. You underestimate how likable you are. Your most real self is way more attractive than you think.

Second… decades of research show that non conforming traits - the things you think make you too much, too loud, too quiet, too nerdy, too passionate - those are the qualities time and time again that are preferred on average over normal, conforming traits.

So, there’s need to be mysterious. Talk about what excites you, share your opinions, and let your quirks show early.

3. Alignment

The fastest way to attract what’s meant for you is to let yourself be a bit delusional because that’s how magic finds you.

The fastest way to attract what’s meant for you is to see how passionate, weird, and hilarious you can get without stressing about what people think.

The fastest way to attract what’s meant for you is to create your own sunshine so the right people can be drawn to its light.

The fastest way to attract what’s meant for you is to play, experiment, and laugh at the mess because fun people find fun lives.

This week’s podcast episodes

746 - You are hot, funny, and capable In this episode, I talk about what self belief really is (backed by research) and how to step into VERBS, not adjectives. Listen on Apple Podcasts or Spotify.

745 - Are they ready for a relationship? In this episode, I talk about the ONE thing required of a partner to make a relationship work. Listen on Apple Podcasts or Spotify.

My name is Case. I believe in the power of perspective.

Say hi on Instagram @case.kenny

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