• New Mindset
  • Posts
  • 🧠 They're not your type, they're your pattern

🧠 They're not your type, they're your pattern

(what this means)

mindfulness for rule breakers, free spirits, & inner peace enthusiasts

Hello, my friend. Here are three mindset on my heart lately. I hope you find peace in them and in the world around you.

Reminder: the world around you is beautiful when the world within you is at peace.

PS: it’s ok to reinvent yourself as many times as you need.

- Case Kenny (@case.kenny)

THREE mindsets to help you reflect, rebel, and reinvent…

1. Your type vs. your pattern

If you need a final push to look beyond your “type,” today’s episode of New Mindset, Who Dis is for you. In this episode I talk about why “they’re not your type, they’re your pattern.”

Saying “oh that’s just my type” as the rationale behind why you keep having bad luck in dating is why you end up in a pattern. It’s how you rationalize bad behavior and misaligned values. Look beyond your “type” and you’ll realize:

You can find a passionate, ambitious dream big partner (your type) who DOESN’T come with inflated ego or controlling behavior (your pattern).

You can find a life of the party goofball partner (your type) who DOESN’T come with immaturity and lack of self awareness (your pattern).

You can find an alpha, take control kind of partner (your type) who DOESN’T come with always needing to be right or who looks down on you (your pattern).

Your type vs. your pattern. Which are you looking for?

Listen here.

2. This is where you’ll find your power again.

Amidst all the things you deserve right now - to give and receive love, to forgive yourself, to be patient with yourself - maybe what you need right now is to feel powerful again?

But how? You can't think yourself into feeling powerful. You have to prove it. You have to prove to yourself that you are NOT helpless.

Where you learned you are helpless is where you'll find our power again.

I used to think that was WRONG advice. Go back? We can't go back to those people or circumstances and expect to find healing or closure. Sure, we need to create space, but then you need to go back from a place of power - you put yourself in a position in dating, your career, relationships, etc to be vulnerable but you do so from a place of POWER - controlling what you can and letting go of what you cannot. You no longer allow a past pattern to be a future reality.

You prove your power by going back, by not backing down, by not accepting "good enough." Where you learned you are helpless is where you’ll find your power again.

3. Convince them? Or move on?

The next time someone hurts you, frustrates you, or doesn't choose you...

BEFORE you give them energy, before you react, and before you try to change or chase them... ask yourself this.

Is this something to be controlled OR accepted?

Is this a person who needs to be convinced OR accepted?

And most importantly... is this person in between where I am and where I want to go? ... not where you were but where you are right now, with what you learned about them... and where you want to go? Where you are and what you deserve?

No? Don't give them any more energy. You didn't come this far to chase them or change their mind. Is this something to be controlled OR accepted?

Doors close for a reason. Keep them closed so you can open another one.

* need help finding clarity in what to control and what to accept? All journals are 20% off on newmindsetwhodis.com :)

// That’s it for today. Until Monday,

- Case Kenny

My name is Case. I believe in the power of perspective.

Say hi on Instagram @case.kenny

Listen to my twice-weekly podcast