🧠 The true sign of compatility

Here’s my mindset for the rest of the year: The entire point of life is to risk looking crazy today so your future self has the best stories to tell about how it all worked out.

PS: if you have Spotify Premium, you can listen to the audiobook version of “The Opposite of Settling” for FREE. Just click here. No strings attached.

1. The true test of compatibility

Compatibility. We throw this word around so much and try to decode it through lists, tests, and checkboxes. But I think we get it backwards. We obsess over them - what they say, how they act, how much effort they put in. The truth is, compatibility isn’t about them first. It’s about you.

The real question is simple: Do I still like who I am when I’m with this person? Because compatibility isn’t measured by their actions alone, but by what their presence does to you.

Someone can look perfect on paper - ambitious, funny, aligned with your values - but if being with them makes you bite your tongue, shrink yourself, or like yourself less than you do alone, that’s not compatibility. That’s erosion. On the flip side, someone who challenges you, who isn’t always easy, might bring out the version of you that feels braver, more honest, more alive.

And growth matters too. True compatibility isn’t just about liking who you are today, it’s about liking who you’re becoming tomorrow. If a relationship only offers comfort but no growth, that’s not connection - it’s a holding pattern.

Finally, real compatibility leaves you room to breathe. It honors your individuality and respects your solitude. If you can’t belong to yourself while being with someone, you’re not in a partnership - you’re in a merger.

So the test is threefold: Do I like who I am with them? Do I like who I’m becoming? Do I still belong to myself? If yes, that’s rare compatibility.

*I talk about this in depth in episode 730 of the podcast.

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2. Give yourself more credit…

Just so you know, YOU are the hot regular at the coffee shop.

Fun fact: Research from from Yale, Harvard, and Cornell shows that you are more likable than you think you are. It’s called the “Liking Gap.” Statistically, you probably underestimate how much people actually like you.

Translation: you walk away from social interactions overanalyzing, meanwhile everyone else is thinking, “wow, that person is great.”

Also, research shows your “non-conforming traits” - your passion, weirdness, intensity - are usually seen as MORE attractive, not less.

So, if you’re reading this, you’re hotter, funner, and way more irresistible than your brain gives you credit for. Multiple sources have confirmed your vibe is immaculate and everyone feels it.

3. What are we doing here?

The entire point of life is to be so wildly passionate that people can’t decide if you’re crazy or a genius.

Seriously… why are people afraid of being cringe? Extra? Too much? All it means is you aren’t afraid to look ridiculous in the pursuit of joy.

All it means if you aren’t afraid to look ridiculous on the way to being happy, rich, and free.

My name is Case. I believe in the power of perspective.

Say hi on Instagram @case.kenny

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