🧠 Peace, not drama

Your greatest strength is your ability to detach from drama and save your energy for people who bring you peace.

Here are three mindsets to help you find peace in your life.

» That’s Bold of You is 10% off on Amazon.

- Case Kenny (@case.kenny)

1. Stability in a relationship is NOT boring

Listen to today’s podcast where I talk about why drama might make love feel alive, but peace is what makes it last. I talk about why peace and stability is the foundation for a healthy relationship.

• What does peace in a relationship look like?

• Drama is NOT passion

• Love is NOT reality TV

Listen here.

2. Are they right or wrong for you?

Ask yourself this: are they bringing out the best in me? Or the worst?

“Are they bringing out the best in me? Or are they bringing out the worst in me?”

This is such a powerful question because you know your good qualities and you know your bad ones.

You know when you’re being neurotic. You know when you’re being or possessive or desperate. You know when you’re acting out of anxiousness.

And you also know when you’re being calm and free. You know when you’re being kind, supportive and trusting.

You can tell the difference because you know yourself.

So, when you think of that person… are they bringing out your best qualities or your worst qualities?

Ask yourself that. And answer honestly.

I can’t think of a scenario where someone brings out the worst in you... and it's meant to be. Can you?

Someone who makes you feel self conscious or insecure? Someone who makes you feel suspicious or desperate or jealous. I don’t see how that person could be meant for you.

So I think the strongest sign you have to answer the question of “is this person right for me or not?  is you… You have the answers you seek and a lot of the time they appear in the form of your best qualities or your worst qualities.

Are you more anxious around that person? Do you feel like yourself? Do you appreciate yourself more or less? Do you speak honestly and openly or do you find yourself hiding truths, or speaking in half truths? Are you kind and loving or closed off? 

Ask yourself this question and get the clarity you need: are they bringing out the best in me or the worst?

3. You are stronger than you think

I admire STRONG people like YOU. How do I know you’re strong?

Because even though you’ve experienced darkness, you still define yourself by your ability to sprinkle sunshine wherever you go. That is strength.

You're the kind of person who uses their scars as reasons to step forward, not as excuses to step back and sit down.

You’re strong because you recognize there are both beautiful and ugly pieces to your story... and yet you choose to define yourself by the beautiful ones. Defining yourself by your ugly traits or ugly experiences is the easy choice: “I’m insecure, I’m lost, I’m clingy, I’m too demanding, I’m falling behind.” You’re strong because you don’t do that. 

You recognize that those are things you’re working on, but you still have beautiful things about you: You’re a good friend. You’re passionate. You’re reliable. You’re loyal. You’re curious. You’re disciplined. You’re empathetic.

You’re strong because you’re a work in progress faced with ugly truths and ugly experiences… but you don’t allow them to define you. It takes a strong person to realize that not only is the world NOT out to get you… but you're also NOT out to get yourself. 

It takes a strong person to be at a point in their life where there’s plenty of bad alongside the occasional good, rejection alongside success, and frustrating experiences and people taking up chapters in your life… and yet choose to define yourself by the good: “I’m resilient. I’m reliable. I’m empathetic. I’m passionate. I’m a good friend.”

That is strength and you should be proud of yourself for being that person.

My name is Case. I believe in the power of perspective.

Say hi on Instagram @case.kenny

Listen to my twice-weekly podcast