🧠 The one and only quality that matters in a partner

Hello, friend. You’re a powerful person. You’ve been through a lot but you refuse to let it turn you cold. That is something to be proud of.

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Let’s get into it. Here are three mindsets to help you be reminded of your power.

- Case Kenny (@case.kenny)

1. The only quality that matters in a man

Listen to today’s podcast about the most important quality in a partner. In this episode I talk about an obvious quality but it’s one we’re quick to forget and overlook. I break it down with two simple sentences and two important words.

• The difference between someone who says “so” vs “but”

• deciphering someone’s willingness to make a relationship work

• fixed mindset vs. growth mindset

Listen here.

2. They don’t deserve your energy

”There are two types of people: Those who want to know more and those who want to defend what they already know.” @morganhousel

I like this idea in the context of when someone hurts you, frustrates you, you, or doesn’t choose you. BEFORE you give them energy, before you REACT and try to change or chase that person… ask yourself this.

Is this a person who needs to be convinced or accepted?

If this person just wants to defend who they are and what they already know, what would more of your energy or effort do? Does someone who has already made up their mind deserve more of your energy?

Ask yourself, “is this person in between where I am and where I want to go?” Not “where I was…” but “where I am right now, with what I learned about that person… and where I want to go?” No? Don’t give them any more energy. You didn’t come this far to chase or change the mind of someone who’s only looking defend themselves and their pride.

3. I admire you

I admire STRONG people like YOU. How do I know you’re strong?

Because even though you’ve experienced darkness, you still define yourself by your ability to sprinkle sunshine wherever you go. That is strength.

You're the kind of person who uses their scars as reasons to step forward, not as excuses to step back and sit down.

You’re strong because you recognize there are both beautiful and ugly pieces to your story... and yet you choose to define yourself by the beautiful ones. Defining yourself by your ugly traits or ugly experiences is the easy choice: “I’m insecure, I’m lost, I’m clingy, I’m too demanding, I’m falling behind.” You’re strong because you don’t do that. 

You recognize that those are things you’re working on, but you still have beautiful things about you: You’re a good friend. You’re passionate. You’re reliable. You’re loyal. You’re curious. You’re disciplined. You’re empathetic.

You’re strong because you’re a work in progress faced with ugly truths and ugly experiences… but you don’t allow them to define you. It takes a strong person to realize that not only is the world NOT out to get you… but you're also NOT out to get yourself. 

It takes a strong person to be at a point in their life where there’s plenty of bad alongside the occasional good, rejection alongside success, and frustrating experiences and people taking up chapters in your life… and yet choose to define yourself by the good: “I’m resilient. I’m reliable. I’m empathetic. I’m passionate. I’m a good friend.”

That is strength and you should be proud of yourself for being that person.

My name is Case. I believe in the power of perspective.

Say hi on Instagram @case.kenny

Listen to my twice-weekly podcast