🧠 Being loved vs. feeling loved

Hello, my friend. Here are three mindsets to inspire you.

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- Case Kenny (@case.kenny)

1. Normal behavior is too… normal

I’m convinced that the best years of your life are when you'd rather be an authentic weird, wild, and unhinged work-in-progress than a fake masterpiece. The best years of your life are when you do everything in your power to resist falling into “supposed to be” expectations. So, yes. Be weird. Be a bit crazy. It’s the only way. Below is a great Tweet I saw today on this idea:

Normal behavior is forgotten. Only weird behavior survives. 

“Nobody tells stories of when you did the expected — they only tell stories when you did the unexpected. Normal behavior costs nothing in the short term — but it disappears into the abyss. Unconventional behavior costs a social price in the short term — but the actions live on as story assets in the future.

1. If you pay for the bill at everyone in the table - the short-term reaction is shock and confusion. But in the long term, it’s everyone’s favorite memory of you.

2. If you travel across the world for a friend's birthday, the friend’s initial reaction is: “You don’t have to do that” — but it’s the story they tell at your funeral.

3. If you’re 100% honest with your feedback on people’s business ideas, the short-term reaction is anger — but in the long term, you become one of the few people they trust.

If you study the biographies of the greats or attend the funerals of people you care about — the normal rational behavior is never mentioned. It’s filled with stories that make the individual unique. It’s all the times they broke out of the median distribution of human behavior.

If you want to create behavioral assets that tell stories for you in the future, you have to pay the price of appearing weird in the present moment. Your personal brand is defined by your weirdness, eccentricities, and irrational behavior. If you remove them in order to fit in with the tribe, you remove all future stories and memories that tribe will tell about you.” (@george_mack)

2. Being loved vs. feeling loved

Today’s episode of the podcast will help you put an end to talking yourself out of asking for more in a relationship when you know you deserve it. In this episode I break down:

• the difference between being loved and feeling loved

• why their love language might not be yours

• how to have a conversation about “I know you love me but I don’t feel loved”

• why you deserve to be loved in a way that actually makes you feel loved

Listen here.

3. Three months of “despite”

It's normal to doubt yourself from time to time. It's normal to feel some kind of imposter syndrome. It's normal to think “maybe I'm unqualified for that job, I'm an unlikely match for that person, etc.”

Those are normal human thoughts. But I don't know about you, I'm over doubting myself! And so I'm calling the last three months of this year THREE MONTHS OF “DESPITE.”

This is a period of feeling untalented, unexpected, unqualified, unusual or unlikely but DESPITE that... still going for it. I like to think of it as a challenge.

Unqualified? Unexpected? Unlikely? Unusual? Yet… here you are. DESPITE those feelings here you are doing your thing.

- You shoot your shot DESPITE how unlikely you think it is you’ll hear YES.

- You create that passion project DESPITE how unexpected it is coming from you.

- You ask for that promotion DESPITE how unqualified you think you are.

Those are self imposed "UNs" but you can choose to see them as a challenge. Think of headlines you've seen in the past.

- Winning the world series DESPITE being 45 years old.

- Getting cast in that movie DESPITE never having landed a major role before.

- Creating a hit single DESPITE never having a hit before.

Those are the headlines you read and remember. Why can’t that be you? DESPITE your imposter syndrome you're doing your thing and you’re going for it. Show yourself that those feelings are irrelevant. This is the time where unlikely, unexpected, unqualified or untalented is irrelevant. This is the time where you succeed, you overcome and you grow DESPITE the labels you put on yourself.

Embrace those feelings. Acknowledge those feelings.

Don't ignore them. They might even be a little bit true. You might be unexpected. You might be a tad unqualified. But screw it. Embrace the power of DESPITE.

Look those feelings in the eye and decide they’re not in your way. You’re going through them.

My name is Case. I believe in the power of perspective.

Say hi on Instagram @case.kenny

Listen to my twice-weekly podcast