🧠 Love isn't about 50/50

Hello, my friend. Shoutout to YOU - your kindness isn’t a strategy, but a way of life. You don’t need to dim others’ light to shine brightly. Your mindset is “at least I tried” and not “I wish I tried.” If you’re overlooked, you refuse to overlook yourself. Be proud of that.

Here are three mindsets to inspire you.

PS: there’s a new episode of New Mindset, Who Dis out today :)

- Case Kenny (@case.kenny)

1. Is it bad to get attached easily?

Why have we become the “catch flights, not feelings” crew? Why are we afraid of getting “attached” in life?

Reframe. Feeling attached to someone = being honest with yourself. And what’s wrong with that? As long as it’s balanced by reading the room, being honest with WHY you feel that way, and keeping your eyes open to red flags... it's a good thing.

It’s the opposite of how we’re molded to act. We’re molded to always have a backup plan and never put all of our emotional eggs in one basket. If you're the kind of person who gets attached easily it’s important to realize it’s not a character flaw, you’re not weak and you’re not soft. You’re just honest with how you feel. And is that a bad thing? Heck no.

I'm not advocating for you to get overly attached. I’m advocating for you to not shame yourself if you feel attached. If you come across someone who's attached to you I'm advocating for you to not shame them.

There's nothing wrong with loving everything in life. There's nothing wrong with coming across something new and being like “this is amazing. I’m not gonna hide it.” There’s nothing wrong with feeling a strong connection to someone even if they're new in your life. There's nothing wrong with feeling attached.

Attached is NOT what the internet has made us think. Healthy attachment is you having hope in something or someone. Healthy attachment is you seeing something that speaks to you on a deeper level. Healthy attachment is you having an intuition you actually listen to. Healthy attachment is you being honest with yourself for once.

This is about you and you. Feeling attached - despite what it sounds like - is NOT about them. It’s about your relationship with YOU.

It’s about what you see in the mirror. Do you see someone who feels one way but acts another? Do you see someone who doesn't listen to how they truly feel because it might lead them in a vulnerable direction?

OR do you see someone who is radically honest with themselves?

Let’s drop the word "attached" and just say it’s you being emotionally honest. If you’re the kind of person who gets attached easily… please consider WHY. Is it to fill a void in your life? Is it in response to some kind of trauma? Take time to address that but once you have, drop the lingo.

You’re not the "I get attached easily" type. You’re the "I’m honest with myself" type.

And what’s wrong with that?

2. Don’t keep score in love

You deserve a love that is not defined by the expectation of 50/50. You deserve a love where there is no keeping score at all - where if all you have to give is 10% you know your partner is happy to give 90%, and where you recognize that the idea of 50/50 leads to keeping score and resentment.

Listen to today’s episode of the podcast to celebrate a version of love that looks beyond a scoreboard or conditions. It’s where both of you cover for each other. It’s when one of you only has 10% to give, the other steps up. It’s when one of you is running low, the other steps in and together you create 100%. That is the healthy love you deserve. You show up for each other when the other has nothing to give.

Listen here.

3. A message for you

If you’re reading this you're gorgeous, but not only on the outside. You're gorgeous for the way you see life, for your curiosity, for your depth, and for the way your smile lights up those around you.

The world needs your magic. Keep writing your own story. It doesn’t need to look like anyone else’s. Speak your mind, smile, laugh, dream, be curious and chase your own vibrant version of inner peace and adventure.

You have something special to offer the world, so please don't forget it.

My name is Case. I believe in the power of perspective.

Say hi on Instagram @case.kenny

Listen to my twice-weekly podcast