🧠 Is it love or compatibility?

Hello, my friend. I changed today’s email to be just three mindsets instead of five. Let me know how this feels - personally it’s easier to read but let me know what you think!

Let’s get into it.

- Case Kenny (@case.kenny)

1. You’re only one “F it” decision away…

You're ALWAYS just one "F it" decision away from transforming your entire life (for good or bad). Every successful biz, great relationship, epic adventure can usually be traced back to: "F it, I'm going for it... Whatever happens, happens." (@ComedicBizman)

In That’s Bold of You, I talked your healthy ego. This side of your ego is the antidote to indifference and it’s what leads to transformation like in the above quote. This ego says you ALWAYS are free to tap into what makes you unique, extra, or “too much” because you can handle anything that comes next. It reminds you that the universe rewards those who are NOT indifferent to their voice, their emotions, their vulnerability, their passions, or their talent or creativity.

Saying “F it” and going for it is what taps into this side of your ego. It puts you in the game. It takes you off the indifferent sidelines of life and gets you playing - even if you are nervous or unsure. And frankly, that is all that matters in life. You put yourself in the game… because once there, you can figure out the rest. 

The healthy side of your ego gives you the incentive to take step one. And you need more step ones in your life! You can figure out step two, but you need that initial step. Step ones are led by ego, compassion, and boldness.. aka saying “F it” and going for it. That’s step one of reaching out to someone you want to connect with. That's step one of asking that person out. That’s step one of posting that art you created. That's step one of starting your business, considering another job, moving cities, etc.

You can try anything, and you can react to whatever happens next. “F it.”

2. Is it love OR compatibility?

You can’t force love on someone you’re only compatible with. And it’s very difficult to make a relationship work with someone you’re not compatible with. But what’s the difference between the two? We use a lot of words to describe love and relationships - connection, chemistry, compatibility, etc. Are these just words or is there something we 100% need and can’t make a relationship work without?

Listen to today’s podcast where I practically break down the difference between compatibility and love. I talk about why compatibility puts love on the menu but you can’t skip straight to dessert.

Listen: Is it love or compatibility?

3. What will ACTUALLY make you happy?

I saw the below excerpt from the The Harvard Study of Adult Development, one of the longest running study on adult life, and mental and physical happiness. It basically tackled the question, what leads to a happy life?

I found this excerpt to be really telling - your life’s contentment and happiness comes from how well you adapt to life. You can read more about the study here, but I broke down how I’d approach these elements practically:

Altruism: can you be patient and empathetic towards the people around you?

Humor: can you laugh at yourself throughout your life’s ups and downs?

Anticipation: do you think big picture and embrace the challenges of reality (no self pity) and the discomfort that comes from them?

Suppression: Can you delay your impulsive and emotional reaction to life around you?

Sublimation: can you direct your more base human emotions into productive and compassionate contexts, such as sports?

My name is Case. I believe in the power of perspective.

Say hi on Instagram @case.kenny

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