🧠 Life can be OK and not OK

Hello, my friend. I spent this past weekend in Cancun for a wedding and had an amazing time dancing and celebrating. I had several interesting conversations with new friends when the inevitable “what do you do for a living” question came up and I tried to explain my definition of mindfulness over cocktail hour. I either inspired some people to consider their own definition or I left them thinking “what is this guy talking about?!” Either way, it was a fun weekend and now back to Miami.

Here are three mindsets to start your week. Let’s go.

- Case Kenny (@case.kenny)

1. The universe rewards consistency

• Drake: 133 songs, 38 hits (28%)

• Beyonce: 89 songs, 22 hits (24%)

• Red Hot Chili Peppers: 265 songs, 13 hits (4.9%)

+70% of their output is NOT popular. Meanwhile, you post one video and give up immediately... (@noahkegan)

This isn’t an email about business building, music, or becoming internet famous… but there’s something to be said about trying, and trying, and trying, and trying… and not losing enthusiasm along the way. The universe rewards people who are consistent with action. It rewards people who do the “thing” no matter what. It rewards people who do it even when they don’t want to, even when they’d rather give up, and even when it’s awkward or uncomfortable.

Give yourself a second chance, a tenth chance, a fiftieth chance. In many areas of life, you only have to get it “right” once for everything to change. Go on another first date, make another sales call, create another song, send another email - you never know when that is THE one that will matter most.

2. Life can be OK and NOT OK at the same time

It’s easy to get caught up in the uncertainty of life, the overwhelm of the daily news cycle, and the confusion that comes from the latest “unprecedented times.” It’s easy to feel that nothing is okay. It’s real. It’s valid. BUT there’s another side to life that exists if we take time to notice it. A simple side. A present side. A reminder that life can be okay and not okay at the same time.

Amidst all we need to get done, there are moments that remind us that the absence of what we want does not negate the presence of what we have. Step outside and realize what we all collectively have. Moments we can create for ourselves - the satisfaction of completing a puzzle or crossword. Nailing the high notes when it’s your turn at karaoke. Biting into a perfectly ripe fruit. Finding an extra fry at the bottom of the bag. And moments we can simply appreciate - dogs happily wagging their tails. A farmer’s market brimming with colorful produce. Finding solace in a book. The comforting ambiance of clinking cups and plates coming from a restaurant. The sounds of birds chirping and the rustling of leaves in a park.

Life can be okay and not okay at the same time.

3. Why do we stay in “toxic” relationships?

There are many reasons why we talk ourselves into staying in one-sided or "toxic" relationships. One of the core reasons I've found is that we confuse "sacrifice" for "self-betrayal."

We know sacrifice is an important part of a healthy relationship (yes!) but we use that to rationalize our own conditioned behavior that leads us to try to earn, win, or keep love. We think we're sacrificing our true needs or honesty for the "good of the relationship" but we're really betraying ourselves when we:

- stay quiet because we don't want to seem needy

- don't act on what we promised ourselves after our last relationship

- avoid honesty or being real to avoid conflict

- give, give, give without expecting reciprocity

We betray ourselves and our needs when we are more faithful to the idea of "earning" love than respecting our needs and honesty.

Listen to this full podcast episode here.

My name is Case. I believe in the power of perspective.

Say hi on Instagram @case.kenny

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