🧠 A life of beautiful chaos

Hello, my friend. Here’s a reminder as you start your week: you deserve to be with someone who takes their promises seriously. That’s someone who brings you peace, calm, and consistency. They understand that love is a choice, not just a feeling. If that speaks to you, listen to this episode of the podcast about why a relationship is NOT 50/50.

Here are three mindsets to inspire you.

- Case Kenny (@case.kenny)

1. A life of beautiful chaos…

On today’s episode of the podcast, I talk about “happy accidents” - when something unexpectedly good comes from what would otherwise be considered a mishap. Happy accidents - what life GIVES you, instead of what it takes from you.

I’m sure you have examples of these in your life - where you wanted one thing but got another and now looking back you say “wow thank you, that was a gift.” That’s where being late to work one day led you to meet someone and now you're best friends. Or even an instances where you received a piece of objectively bad luck, but you realize your bad luck protected you from even worse luck.

Happy accidents. Listen to today’s episode here.

2. Go to a bookstore this week…

Bookstores are incredible. You’re surrounded by hundreds of things that started as a small spark in someone else’s mind that they then spent thousands of hours translating to the written word. Impossible not to feel inspired. (Nathan Baugh)

3. How to respond to love bombing…

Love bombing... It’s when someone leads with over-the-top compliments, declarations and comments waaaaay too early in a relationship. This person overwhelms you with feel-good declaration of compatibility and likability as a means to push their agenda and pressure you into returning the sentiment.

Why do people do this? Two reasons…

Someone love bombs because they’re intentionally using your humanness against you. They know exactly what they’re doing and they’re doing it because they have their own agenda and they want you onboard ASAP… no questioning… no what ifs… no patience.

Someone love bombs because they think someone else will if they don't. They love bomb because they don’t think they're enough without it. They don’t think you'll like them, love them or trust them without over-the-top declarations and compliments. They love bomb because they are insecure.

Regardless of WHY someone does it, love bombing means the same thing. Love bombing is a mask for something. Love bombing is a mask for intention. It’s a mask for someone who wants something quick and easy but wants you to think it’s the opposite. It’s a mask for insecurity.

Here’s how I rationalize love bombing and what our response to it should be.

Someone who is genuine, compassionate and who has done inner work… they’re not going to love bomb because they themselves are going to want to wait to see if they actually like you. Someone who is intentional, honest and who has learned from their past is NOT going to love bomb - for the same reasons you wouldn't love bomb.

You want to make sure you actually like someone before you commit to them. You want to make sure you're not acting out of pressure or guilt.

The most powerful mentality you can possess in dating is holding them to the same standard you hold yourself to.

If YOU wouldn’t jump to over-the-top conclusions and declarations about your compatibility with someone else, shouldn’t the same be true about your person? Your person will want to make sure they actually like you… just as you do. Your person will want to see if YOU have any red flags about you… just as you do.

You should expect patience and intention and honesty from that person. You should expect them to wonder if they like you before jumping to conclusions… in the same way you wonder if you like them.

Believe in love at first sight. Believe in knowing you found your soulmate the moment you first meet them. But hold others to the same standard you hold yourself to.

YOU don’t wear a mask in dating. YOU don’t act out insecurity or manipulation. Come back to your example, your journey, your resolve and your honesty... and expect the same of someone else who wants to be part of your life.

My name is Case. I believe in the power of perspective.

Say hi on Instagram @case.kenny

Listen to my twice-weekly podcast