🧠 Feel lonely?

Hello, friend. I hope you find the strength to be YOU this week. If my life experience has taught me anything it’s that a secret to happiness is to be as weird as you like and the wrong people will leave the party, but the right ones will join the dance.

Let’s get into it. Here are three mindsets to help you be YOU.

* I just released a new episode of New Mindset, Who Dis

- Case Kenny (@case.kenny)

1. You don’t have to say YES immediately

Daniel Kahneman, the Nobel Prize-winning psychologist, has a rule where he never says yes to anything on the spot.

People-pleasing had him making too many commitments. He says something to the effect of: "Thanks for the invite. I don't say yes to anything on the spot, but I'll let you know if I'm interested." 

Turning the choice into a rule lowers the pain of rejection for others and makes the decision easy for you as well. (DavidPerell)

I like this idea from Kahneman. I’m not suggesting you say NO to everything, but how many snap decisions have you made out of guilt? Fear? Rushing? Being put on the spot? If you’re like me, more than just a few. Pause. Be Mindful. Buy yourself some time. And then react.

2. The power of prayer (not religious)

Listen to today’s podcast about the role that prayer can play in your life. In this episode I talk about how to talk to yourself AND the universe. I talk about how prayer is like finding your footing in a world that feels like it's spinning too fast. I use the quote “there are years that ask questions and years that answer” as a means to inspire you to practice prayer in your life.

Listen here as I talk about:

• what mindful prayer is and is NOT

• how to talk to yourself and the power around you

• how to give yourself a chance to breathe

3. The truth about feeling lonely

The most powerful person is someone who’s not afraid to be alone. But along the way you might feel lonely and like you’re falling behind. Here’s what I’ve realized:

It's easy to fill your head, heart, and calendar with things you’re "supposed" to like. It’s easy to go on a date. It’s easy to go to happy hour. It’s easy to hang out with old college friends. It’s easy to go out to bars. It’s easy to say “good!” when someone says “how are you?” It's easy to do those things and convince yourself you have all the connection you need - even if that's not true. Most people do this. It’s amazing how easily most people re-adjust their expectations or lower the bar for themselves out of fear of being alone.

So I look at loneliness as the last remaining proof of your essence. When you feel lonely and your response is NOT to lower the bar… it means you’re respecting your search for connection and you're NOT willing to lower your standard. You feel lonely when you haven’t quite found the things, people, job, or hobbies that TRULY make you feel alive and it takes a strong person to keep looking and to not accept “good enough.”

Loneliness is proof that your innate search for connection is intact. (Martha Beck) Why do you feel lonely? It’s NOT because you can’t connect with others. It’s NOT because you’re weird. It’s not because you’re falling behind.

It’s a sign of strength. You’re still searching for the connection you deserve. You haven't given up or accepted the first “good enough” thing that came your way. That is strength.

My name is Case. I believe in the power of perspective.

Say hi on Instagram @case.kenny

Listen to my twice-weekly podcast