🧠 Don't blame yourself for their behavior

Hello, my friend. This week I hope you find yourself surrounded by people whose kindness is a way of life, not a strategy. Those are people who give without expecting a receipt. They are people who intuitively know when to offer you a hug, a joke, or just a moment of distraction.

Here are three mindsets to inspire you.

PS: there’s a new episode of New Mindset, Who Dis out today :)

- Case Kenny (@case.kenny)

1. Give out more “drive-by-compliments”

I saw the following from @jtorrecoaching and had to share it with you. Compliment someone else and the impact comes right back to you:

A drive-by-compliment is a “compliment you extend to someone in passing. You have limited contact with that person, there's no awkward lingering about where this goes next, and you're quickly in and out of the exchange. I've done this on runs, at the grocery store, in the airport, from my car to people on the sidewalk (a literal drive-by compliment, and they loved it.) I've complimented men, women, couples, older, younger. The response is always the same: THANK YOU!!!

The most common compliment I extend is on someone's style and it sounds like this: "That's a fantastic (t-shirt.)" "Love your look. Head to toe, it's working." "That's a great color on you - you really pull that off." "Love your look. Head to toe, love everything about it." "Love everything about your outfit.”

Other compliments are often service-related: "You handled that so well." "You're really good at your job." "You're a natural with making people feel welcome."

Matter-of-fact approach. I say what I say and then move on, which signals - nothing else is happening here. I want nothing more from you other than for you to know: I saw, I noticed, I wanted you to know. When I compliment style, the positive response rate is 100% and I end up absorbing that awesome energy. It's a boost that lingers.

Was it awkward? No. I didn't let it be awkward. I moved on, and that's the beauty of the drive-by. Also, how can I feel weird about sharing something positive? I don't control how someone receives it; so I just let him own his grump and carried on with my day.

If you're out in the world thinking positive things about someone, take a chance and share it. The odds are in your favor that you'll both get a boost from it.”

2. Don’t blame yourself for their poor behavior

Listen to today’s episode of the podcast if someone has hurt you in any way recently - they overlooked you, lied to you, didn’t choose you, betrayed you, etc.

In the instances where this happens, don’t make it about yourself! Don’t go to a place of saying there’s something wrong with YOU. How could their poor behavior be a reflection of you?! How could their decision to choose dishonesty over honesty, hurtful words over kindness, or judgment over empathy because of you? Take back your power by reversing your logic. In this episode I talk about:

• the power of restraint

• a new mantra: poor behavior means there’s something wrong with them, not me.

• how to examine their behavior objectively

Listen here.

3. You didn’t lose them, they lost you

Here are 6 mantras to guide you in your relationships this week:

When you have a weird sense of humor, a kind soul, and offer unquestionable loyalty… you don’t lose anybody, they lose you.

When you refuse to play games and are kind and genuine… you don’t lose anybody, they lose you.

When you‘re willing to love fully and without limits… you don’t lose anybody, they lose you.

When you know what you’re looking for and you offer the same… you don’t lose anybody, they lose you.

When you’re willing to make them a priority with your time and energy… you don’t lose anybody, they lose you.

When you show up as the most vibrant and real version of yourself… you don’t lose anybody, they lose you.

My name is Case. I believe in the power of perspective.

Say hi on Instagram @case.kenny

Listen to my twice-weekly podcast