🧠 Date from standards, not expectations

Hey, I couldn’t help but notice you choose to lift others up instead of tearing them down. You turned your pain into purpose, not just for yourself, but for others. You choose to spread love in a world often filled with hate. Keep shining. Thank you and keep shining.

» That’s Bold of You is 10% off on Amazon.

- Case Kenny (@case.kenny)

1. Date from standards, not expectations

Listen to today’s podcast where I talk about the theory that “women start men at 100” and “men start women at 0.” I talk about the differences between expectations and standards and why we need to find balance between the two.

• Date with an open heart AND open eyes

• Standards guide you, expectations do not

• Start at 50… not 0, and not 100

Listen here.

2. Don’t believe everything you feel

“Honor your feelings but don’t trust them.” Have you heard that saying before? It’s the best advice you can live by as you navigate the ups and downs of your emotional inner life.

Why don’t we honor our feelings but question them BEFORE we decide to trust them? When we do, we’ll realize that in the same way some people don’t belong permanently in our lives... many of our feelings also do not. But we only realize that if we take time to pause and question them.

“Is this a feeling I should trust right away? Should I trust this feeling at face value? Or is this a temporary feeling that does not define me and doesn’t belong in my house?” Give yourself the gift of pausing for a moment. What evidence do you have that this is a real and permanent feeling?

Hopefully when you address a feeling this way, you’ll realize the feeling is a feeling because you’ve been feeling it. That’s it. YOU get to decide what the facts are in your life. You get to decide if the feelings you face are allowed into your house. You get to decide if they are worthy of a seat at your table. The next time you get an incoming feeling, pause:

 - you’ll realize that you can feel anxious, but it doesn’t mean you’re falling behind.

 - you can feel unworthy, but that’s just because someone didn’t see what you bring to the table. And that’s their loss.

 - you can feel like you’re lost, but it doesn’t mean you can’t find your stride.

Feel what you feel, but don’t trust it right away. That is a gift you deserve to give yourself.

3. A reason to journal…

Here’s a powerful journal prompt from Chris Williamson that I recommend you give a try as we enter the new year:

“What would I do if I wanted to make 85 year old me as miserable and regretful as possible?”

Work backwards. What are the decisions you made that you regret? What didn’t you do that you regret? Go deep. Be honest. Now, in the present, what actions can you take that would prevent that regret?

My name is Case. I believe in the power of perspective.

Say hi on Instagram @case.kenny

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