🧠 My conversation with Matthew Hussey

You deserve someone who chooses you without hesitation, not someone who keeps you as an option.

» That’s Bold of You is 10% off on Amazon.

- Case Kenny (@case.kenny)

1. Why do we chase unavailable people?

Listen to today’s podcast where I talk with relationship expert and best-selling author Matthew Hussey. We talk about why we chase unavailable people, the truth about confidence, and a new way to think about self love.

• "If someone isn’t making you a priority, it’s because you’re not a priority."

• "We may not realize it, but many of us subconsciously hide from real love because it forces us to be honest and show who we really are."

• "We need the chaos, we need the massive highs, we need the passion, the love bombing that people often give us, we need that drama in order to feel the thing we think we want to feel when we’re in love."

Listen here.

2. A reminder…

There's something so beautiful about people who have tasted bitterness but are still determined to savor the sweetness life has to offer. You can sense it in their presence. They have a sense of calm warmth and they refuse to let life take from them. I love these kinds of people - people who have stayed gentle in a world that tried to harden them. They've known darkness but still offer their light to others. Their kindness is real and genuine, never a tactic or a strategy.

3. The most valid “ick”

It’s when someone refuses to accept that you feel the way you feel. The ick is when you say you feel a certain way - I feel hurt, anxious, overwhelmed, frustrated - whatever… and their response is to basically require you to validate WHY. To provide a thesis statement to explain yourself. Instead of just accepting you feel that way. That is the ick. 

You deserve someone who offers you straight forward empathy THAT you feel a certain way. You say you feel the way you feel and they accept that as valid and true. Nothing more required.

The opposite… is the ick. They refuse to understand THAT as a starting point. They need to know WHY for it to be valid to them. They need to agree with it.

The ick is when they refuse to understand that their words hurt you - no matter how small or trivial they were. They refuse to understand that you need certain things in a relationship - even if they don’t need the same things themselves. They refuse to understand THAT your past gave you certain habits or insecurities - even if they can’t relate to it at all.

You deserve someone with empathy who listens and accepts what you say at face value. The opposite is a very valid ick.

My name is Case. I believe in the power of perspective.

Say hi on Instagram @case.kenny

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