🧠 Closure isn't something you get from them...

Sometimes the only closure you need is reminding yourself of what you bring to the table.

Here are three mindsets to help you return to yourself.

My book “That’s Bold of You” is 30% off for a limited time on Amazon.

- Case Kenny (@case.kenny)

1. Closure isn’t something you get from them…

Listen to my new podcast episode about why closure isn’t something you get from them, it’s the decision to stop needing them. I talk about how to reset your perspective, let go, and move on.

• Closure is never something you can receive from someone else.

• You won’t get closure by chasing answers. You get it by letting go of the questions.

• How to give yourself your own closure.

Listen here.

2. Feeling behind in life?

I podcast and write for a living and a big part of that is talking to other people, listening to their life experience, learning from them and I love talking to older generations and asking them questions like what do you regret in your life? What’s your best piece of life wisdom?

One of the most helpful responses I’ve heard came from someone in their 70s and is as follows.

What seems like a big deal now, isn’t–no matter your age. When you’re 33, you’re not gonna care about your unrequited crush, though your 15-year-old mind can’t fathom it. When you’re 50, you won’t stress about costing your company an important client, though your 33-year-old mind thinks you’ve permanently destroyed your career. 

When you’re 70, it won’t matter that the house you bought at 50 wasn’t the good investment you’d hoped. Don’t stress yourself out, because most of today’s earth-shattering events are tomorrow’s inconsequential BS.

I don’t have all the answers, and yes some life events are permanent but we’ll never know in the present. We won’t. We’re always rushing in life - both literally in thinking we’re out of time and figuratively with the negative assumptions we make.

That worrying, that rushing makes you suffer twice or as Seneca says: we suffer more in imagination than we do in reality.

I talk to people in their 20s and they feel like they’re falling behind, they’re out of time and I talk to people in their 60s and they say they're just getting started.

The difference is perspective and trust. All we can do is move forward with a mentality that says… as the saying goes: you can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. 

We have to trust that the dots will connect in the future and in the meanwhile we make the most of the time we’ve been given.

3. Don’t overthink it. It really is attractive.

It’s actually very attractive to ask for clarity instead of pretending you’re cool with things being confusing.

It’s actually very attractive to know what you want and to not be subtle about it.

It’s actually very attractive to be your passionate oddball self from the start, instead of watering yourself down to seem chill.

It’s actually very attractive to skip the mind games and just be like, “So, are we doing this or what?”

It’s actually very attractive to know your worth and not treat someone’s uncertainty as a sign to try harder.

It’s actually very attractive to nerd out over the things you’re passionate about instead of worrying if it’s cool or not.

It’s actually very attractive to say you want to spend more time together instead of worrying if it’ll make you seem needy.

It’s actually very attractive to know exactly what you bring to the table and not let anyone convince you it’s too much or not enough.

My name is Case. I believe in the power of perspective.

Say hi on Instagram @case.kenny

Listen to my twice-weekly podcast