🧠 I want to be whole, not perfect

Hello, my friend. Welcome (back) to the newsletter. I’m excited to be writing this email again where I’ll be sending out my favorite, no BS mindsets and mindfulness each week. Here’s what you can expect:

- I’ll be sending this out every Monday and Thursday morning

- It’s short and sweet: 5 mindsets to help you reflect, rebel, and reinvent.

- Feel free to reply to the email 🙂 I’ll try my best to respond to you.

Also, a reminder that if you ever see me roaming the streets of Miami as I often do, please say hi! It’s not annoying, it’s not weird - I LOVE it! Say hi!

Let’s get into it.

- Case Kenny (@case.kenny)

1. A thought on being a “hot mess”

After a lifetime of trying to be perfect and wanting to surround myself with other perfect people, I’ve realized the importance of being whole, not perfect. To be whole is to be proud of yourself for trying, it’s to surround yourself with other eager people who want to collect memories rather than regrets. Those are people who are willing to fail, start over, and try everything at least once. Some might call that being a “hot mess” and so be it! I love being around people who would rather be a "hot mess of happiness" than perfect.

Those are people who realize the beauty of life comes from boldness. Imperfection. Second chances. They make music or art simply because they want to. They pursue what makes them curious. They would rather hear "no" than wonder "what if?" They listen to other people's stories, learn new cultures, and taste new foods. They open their hearts and let new kinds of love in. They strive to be whole, not perfect.

If this speaks to you, listen to 514: The case for being a “hot mess”

2. Self belief is 50% of the battle

“Belief in yourself is overrated. Generate evidence.” - Ryan Holiday

We all deserve to give ourselves a tad bit more credit in life. You’ve generated a lot of evidence FOR yourself and as much as you probably have more you want to do and a version of yourself you’re still striving to become, look at you!

You’re showing up for yourself… Happier… At peace… You’ve decided you’re no longer OK with a version of life that is forced or rushed. You’ve found peace in solitude. You’ve removed the phrase “good enough” from your vocabulary. You’re no longer afraid to ask for 100% when you’re willing to give 100%. You’ve chosen forgiveness over regret. That’s your evidence. Keep it up.

Clap for yourself.

3. Left handed anger

Listen to today’s podcast for the full story on this, but “left handed anger” is the idea that when you’re fuming or angry with yourself and you’re about to throw something or slam your fist, do it with your left (non dominant hand). It’s not condoning fits of anger but when you do something with your left hand it looks ridiculously silly and hopefully in the process it will dilute some of your anger.

I’ve adapted this to the world of mindfulness to say: in moments where you’re angry with yourself, practice “left handed anger.” PAUSE and realize how unfair your expectations are of yourself. They’re totally unfair! You’re rushing, impatient, and unfairly judgmental of yourself. PAUSE. Left handed anger.

Listen to the full episode here.

4. A short list of things to say NO to

Repeat after me:

It’s gonna be a NO from me if you treat me like a side dish.

It’s gonna be a NO from me if you only want me on your terms.

It’s gonna be a NO from me if you don’t amplify the happiness I've created.

It’s gonna be a NO from me if you bring unnecessary drama into my life.

It’s gonna be a NO from me if your words and actions don’t align.

It’s gonna be a NO from me if you’d rather play games instead of being upfront.

5. It’s ok to be misunderstood

People rarely see the whole of you - they just see the part that best supports the point they want to make. (Neil Strauss)

Think about that for a minute. It really changes how you react to someone’s opinion of you, doesn’t it? People always see you through the lens of their own reality. That’s a reality riddled by fear, insecurity, and their own issues. So when it comes to their understanding of you, how can it be anything but flawed? If you’re “too much” for them, that’s their reality. If you’re too quiet or too loud for them, that’s their reality.

The majority of people do not practice much empathy. Most people also don’t know themselves very well. Those people can think what they want, but you know the full story.

My name is Case. I believe in the power of perspective.

Say hi on Instagram @case.kenny

Listen to my twice-weekly podcast