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- 🧠10/10 recommend being wildly optimistic about what you want
🧠10/10 recommend being wildly optimistic about what you want
... until it's your reality
Case Kenny
December 26, 2025
You were put on earth to be so absurdly optimistic, people think you’ve lost touch with reality.
REMINDER: You can listen to the audiobook version of “The Opposite of Settling” for FREE if you have Spotify Premium and you’re in the US. No strings attached. Just click here.
THREE mindsets to help you reflect, rebel, and reinvent…
1. A relationship needs “explanatory optimism”
In relationships that last, optimism isn’t just a feeling, it’s the operating system. It shapes how partners interpret conflict, stress, and uncertainty. Language decides whether a tough moment feels temporary and workable, or permanent and doomed.
When optimism underpins communication, the default assumption becomes: difficulty is navigable, emotions shift, patterns can change. Instead of “What does this say about us?” optimistic couples ask, “What can change from here?” This is called optimistic explanatory style.
Optimistic explanatory style means you assume improvement is possible. You stay engaged. You try again. Most breakthroughs come after the first failed attempts. The opposite - pessimistic language - collapses time and creates helplessness: “You always do this,” “Nothing ever changes.” One moment becomes a meaning. Eventually belief dissolves, not love.
Optimistic language keeps time open: “This is hard right now,” “We haven’t figured this out yet.” Yet is everything. It preserves the future. Research shows even one partner using optimistic language can stabilize a relationship because expectation shapes behavior.
To make this practical, use three rules:
Never speak in permanent language about temporary states.
Assume change before demanding it. Replace “Why are you like this?” with “Can we try something different?”
Borrow belief from the future. Even if you don’t feel hopeful, speak as if growth is possible: “We can get there.”
Optimism keeps the road open. Relationships don’t end when people struggle, they end when they believe struggle is final.
2. Words are spells
Research shows language shapes what you attract.
Psychology has a name for it: Self-fulfilling prophecy. Your expectations absolutely shape what happens in life. In research, people who were told they were expected to succeed did - not because they were better - but because expectations changed how they acted, tried, and persisted.
Your brain treats words as predictions.
Say “this never works out for me,” and your brain lowers effort, narrows focus, and avoids risk.
Say “this is going to work out,” and your brain stays engaged, scans for opportunity, and keeps going.
Research consistently shows that self-belief really does improve outcomes in life.
Words are spells. They tilt probability in your favor.
PS: if you’re interested in “the language of optimism,” check out out my speaking page and reach out if you’d like me to lead a session/keynote for your community or organization.
3. The plot twists heading your way…
Your life's next plot twist will prove that being a bit delusional was the best decision you ever made.
Your life’s next plot twist will show that everything you walked away from was clearing space for something better.
Your life’s next plot twist will bring you someone who doesn’t fumble what you bring to the table.
Your life’s next plot twist will be everything falling into place after it felt like it was all falling apart.
Your life’s next plot twist will usher in a new era where you collect wins like you used to collect lessons.
Some things I’m excited about…
30% off hardcover copies
Amazon is still running a 30% off discount on my book “The Opposite of Settling.” If you’re ready to make 2026 the year of abundant and reciprocated love, check it out. Thank you for the support. It means a lot.
Random thought
You’re still here, despite everything that tried to break you, and that’s all that matters. Keep going.
6K+ five-star reviews
If you’re new here, you might not realize I have a podcast. 7 years running. 700+ episodes. Most of my writing comes from it. Check it out here. New episodes every Monday and Thursday.
That’s it for today. See you next time.
- Case Kenny
